Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Monday, July 27, 2015
Divorce, kid and car
I really don't like fighting with my ex-wife.
We rarely do fight. Friends tell me I have one of the most civilized divorces in the history of divorce.
We share custody 50/50, never bad mouth each other to the kids, and handle decision making with cool business-like detachment.
But when we do come up at odds, and if I express it, a lot of under the surface resentment bubbles up.
My son is 16. He's a good kid, never gets in trouble, studies hard---an honor student. I told him that I would give him my 2009 Nissan Altima when he got to this age. I bought myself a truck and handed him the keys on his 16th birthday.
My dad bought me a $500 beater the day I turned 16. I could have done the same for Jonah, but I wanted him to have reliable transportation. And I wanted to reward him for working so hard at his studies.
I didn't discuss this decision with his mom, as she doesn't discuss similar decisions with me. We generally do what we think is best for our kid without consulting each other.
Fast-forward six months. I'm making payments on Jonah's car and I asked if his mom would cover his insurance payment. I explained why I thought this fair.
It's now a tense situation. She's called for a group meeting between myself, her new husband, my wife and me. I'm not sure we need a sit down with our significant others to discuss our children.
I told her I'd call her. I tried. No answer.
We rarely do fight. Friends tell me I have one of the most civilized divorces in the history of divorce.
We share custody 50/50, never bad mouth each other to the kids, and handle decision making with cool business-like detachment.
But when we do come up at odds, and if I express it, a lot of under the surface resentment bubbles up.
My son is 16. He's a good kid, never gets in trouble, studies hard---an honor student. I told him that I would give him my 2009 Nissan Altima when he got to this age. I bought myself a truck and handed him the keys on his 16th birthday.
My dad bought me a $500 beater the day I turned 16. I could have done the same for Jonah, but I wanted him to have reliable transportation. And I wanted to reward him for working so hard at his studies.
I didn't discuss this decision with his mom, as she doesn't discuss similar decisions with me. We generally do what we think is best for our kid without consulting each other.
Fast-forward six months. I'm making payments on Jonah's car and I asked if his mom would cover his insurance payment. I explained why I thought this fair.
It's now a tense situation. She's called for a group meeting between myself, her new husband, my wife and me. I'm not sure we need a sit down with our significant others to discuss our children.
I told her I'd call her. I tried. No answer.
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